In the next one minute I want you to use every word you can think of for penis. Stop reading, time yourself and do it. Ok, very nice. Now do the same thing for every word you can think of for anger. Ready,? Go. Ok, now that you’re back it’s very telling isn’t it how many more expressions that you have for penis. One minute isn’t enough time, you could have kept going, yet 20 seconds was enough for Anger. My point? Is that men feel with their penis because they haven’t learned to talk.

If your a birder, or know the names of native plant species, it’s amazing how much more connected you feel out there in the woods. Our favorite word in the world is our name. We love to hear it, over and over again. Our feelings are the same way they love to be called by their name because it makes them more real. You must feel to get free, …so…learn to put them in words. Practice with men you trust, and fear not your emotions, God gave them to you and He wants you to use them.

Men cry around me all the time, I love it, and do it myself frequently. In fact, I have cried longer, and harder than anyone I know (my wife says I always have to make everything a competition). Just ask any of my friends who have known me for 20 years now. We honor those we cry with, and it brings us together. Ashamed of it, ha! No way. Crying is statement of courage. If we voted on the most popular men in this group the top 5 would be the ones who cry the most. Wait a minute! That’s not what I was taught. Of course not, that’s why I’m writing this blog at 2 am because you need to unlearn it. A good cry is as good as great sex. It’s a function of your body and you have shut it down and now you’re feeling with you penis. Remember the one you have all those names for?

To get where you need to go start by praying this prayer. “Jesus, help me to feel.” This is what the back side of that prayer looks like. The decade before I went for it with God I cried 5 times. The decade following it was so frequent I couldn’t possible count them. The first two years it was a daily event because I was making up for lost time, and by embracing it, it got me well.

Crying is a natural part of being human, so…get yourself prepared to fall to pieces and have a good cry when you can. We can’t make ourselves cry or control when it is going to happen, so embrace it when it does and don’t stop until you’re finished, because sexual addiction is a failure to grieve. And know this, that men who cry have power, because when a man cries it’s an event. When you speak people will listen because all the logic and politics have been washed away with the tears and there is nothing left but the real you.