Jesus said that if a man lust’s after a woman in his heart he has broken the 7th commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.”  For generations of men in Christendom that sentence in Matthew 5 has been burdensome.  ”How can I ever live up to that?” is the dominate feeling. But it wasn’t meant to be condemning, it was meant to set the standard of freedom. He wants us sexually free not just sober with an outward obedience,…but with a in-ward one. A heart fully alive.  That means there is no where you can’t go, and nothing you can’t do. That you are not sentenced to keeping your eyes on the floor, to never talking with an attractive woman, and rebuking the devil every time you feel a pull toward something sexual. It’s not the devil trying to tempt you gentlemen, it’s the Holy Spirit trying to heal you. The pull you feel inside points to a legitimate need that God wants to meet His way. The best way.

Porn is selling your birthright for a bowl of oat meal. Yeah, you were hungry, but wait it out. God will provide. It will be manna for a while but you’re on your way to the promise land of great sex, friendship, and connection with an amazing wife. The promise land is proceeded by deep relationship with men who have a heart after our God. You will wander in the dessert for a while. You will be tested. There will be failures, great victories, and monuments for you to remember His faithfulness. Hang tough, don’t give up. You have what it takes. There are thousands of good decisions between you and crossing the river. You will love what is on the other side, and in time (it takes time) you will learn to love the process.

There is an acronym called H.A.L.T.S  It stands for hopeless, angry, loniley, tired,  and stressed (I added the S and changed the H from hungry). The acronym is secular and is used widely for those caught in addiction to give them a warning that if they are one of those things on the list they are in danger of relaspe and they need to do some thing about it, fast. Now lets jump back in time about 6,000 years.

Israel is set free from 400 years of slavery. They worked every day, no breaks. Moses is up on Mount Sinai right after the miraculous deliverance of his people having a chat with God getting some guidelines to live by. Just as He was handing Mo the instruction book, He spent 5 paragraphs in Exodus 31 about a taking a break one day a week. When they did it was a promise ring to remind them and others that they were a holy people. That rest was to refresh them, and it came with the promise of sanctification.

When most men screw up, it’s when they are tired, or stressed, or both. Experience with the addictive cycle has shown repeatedly that we need rest. Not doing something stupid is helped significantly by being well rested.

Now back to Moses. He is up on the mountain and the people of Israel get restless because he is delayed in coming back. They don’t know how to rest because no one they have ever been related to has ever taken a break in their lifetime so they have no model. They have to do something….because they don’t know how to do nothing,…. so they get materialistic, do a little porn, and have an orgy. The irony is that all this was happening at the same time God is laying out the plan for his people through Moses to take a Sabbath rest. A day off. He spent extra time on it right before He handed Moses the tablets so it must have been important. You know how the story goes. Moses comes down the hill to a bunch of naked people and throws down his ipad, chastises the people, burns the porn, and puts them through a recovery program. Had they known to rest, or rather how to rest, they would have been kept from sin. Rest is linked to our holiness.

Thankfully they got a second chance. They get the 10 Commandments and before Moses lays them out he spends some extra time with the instructions on the Sabbath rest.  God knew a free people needed rest thousands of years before we could match the letters in the acronym HALTS. Take a day off once a week, to be refreshed. It’s the 4th commandment, and it’s taking care of you. Take care of you and you will be better equipped to take care of those around you. When you keep the Sabbath and keep it holy, it honors God. It is part of your sanctification process and it’s linked to our holiness.

One thing the protestant church lost in the reformation was the confessional. I like the confessional. You go in and sit down with a priest and say “bless me father for I have sinned.” I love that because there is a blessing in confession. What you say is confidential and will never be held against you. You are free.

Following confession you get a little home work. Something to do that will give you momentum to carry on in life as you pursuit holiness.We have brought back the confessional on Monday night and men are getting free. A lot of them. It works. We do it in the small group. The freedom to confess with out judgement in a confidential setting makes it safe for a man to say what he needs to say. Confession is the doorway  to intimacy with other men and brings us back into relationship with God. It allows you stop hiding and show your weaknesses, to bear your soul. To let the light in. “Can’t I just confess my sins to God alone?” You can and you should but that is not all you need(James 5:16). We need other men and they need us. Confession is an act of humility that will set you free.

Naaman in 2 Kings 5 didn’t want to dip in the stream with the turds floating in it to be healed. He wanted it his way. Gods way is the way of humility. Naaman did get healed, but only because he was smart enough to have some guys around him that would tell him what he needed to hear. He listened through his pride, humbled down and took a dip in the crap. Pride is the enemy of purity.

To get sexually pure you must take not just one, but many dips in in the crap. It isn’t going to be solved in the confidential office of a shrink (though this will help), but in the light, and in relationship. I have been asked “who do I have to tell?” I say “rather, who shouldn’t you tell.” The more people that are in on it the better. Scum doesn’t grow in the light. When we walk in the light we experience true fellowship (1John1:7). Exactly what our hearts where missing. Run to what scares you the most to get healed as quickly as possible.

My word to you for healing is no different than Elisha said to Naaman. Take a dip in the feces. Get down in the excrement with other men where the smell is to get clean. Jump in with out judgement, bible verse band-aids, or advice. Look for the gold in each other and mine it out. When they forget it’s there, remind them, as they remind you. Watching them work out there junk will help you work through yours. Say yes to humility and  courageously allow other men to get to know who you really are. Do this, and you will find purity in the poop.